For the longest time, I was tiny. Like, 5'0 and 80 lbs tiny. And then we moved and I was bullied, and had zero friends... and joined color guard (dancing with wooden rifles and flags). So I had to work out A LOT. I steadily gained weight, with the help of stress eating and the constant work outs. I wasn't necessarily healthy, but I was getting better.
I continued to steadily gain weight every year. In high school, I was honestly pretty small still, but at the time I thought I was too fat. Then came college, where I continued to gain weight, and finally, I left college, went to a mental health facility, and gained A TON OF WEIGHT (right before my wedding...).
And then I started to run.
Running and I had a huge love hate relationship. I loved the tiny marks of weight loss that I could see, but I hated leaving my house and actually going running. I loved how I felt less hungry and wasn't interested in junk food, but I hated the time 'wasted' while running.
I loved how I was feeling. I felt good. I felt full of energy. I ran two half marathons (though the second one wasn't quite as good), I did things I couldn't even believe..
And then I hurt my feet.
Badly.
For the past two-three months it's been a lot of back and forth. Lots of 'second' opinions later and we're still not sure what's going on with my feet. It seems that lots of bones are moving where they shouldn't be..
The funny thing is, while running, I wasn't getting injured as much as I did BEFORE I started running. My hips weren't hurting, my ankles were fine, I felt good. And then as soon as I stopped, everything started hurting again. Shocks of pain hit my entire body like a ton of bricks, and it's incredibly painful. I stand on my tippy toes, and my feet kill me for the rest of the day. My hamstring pain is back, an unexplainable pain that often stopped me from doing things. And it sucks. But I'm doing physical therapy, hoping to get back to running very soon.
Well, this week I got some really upsetting news.
I was talking to my physical therapist, and I said "I really want to be able to run a full marathon next year," and then seconds later I said "ouch, my hip hurts!"
Next thing I know he's saying that I can't run marathons, or even half marathons. My body isn't made for running, and for long term health I should consider not running anymore.
If I really want to 'compete' still, I could do triathlons though..
WHAT.
When has me not being able to run ever been on the table? When has that been brought up or discussed by my actual doctors? The only person to tell me to stop running was my physical therapist.
And then I say "well, I don't know how to swim and I'm not a huge fan of biking. I like running."
"Why do you like to run when it's killing your body?"
I looked at him, not sure how to explain.
"It's because of the 'high' isn't it? You love how it makes you feel?"
"Well, yeah but-"
"That high is going to end in you getting a knee replacement or a hip replacement. You can't do this anymore."
At first I was kind of in shock. And then I tried explaining, and then I was in shock again.
It's not like I absolutely LOVE running, but after my half marathons I felt good. Proud. Because my horribly pained body that stinks at any kind of sport actually accomplished something. I ran for 13.1 STRAIGHT MILES UP AND DOWNHILL. HOW IS THAT NOT AMAZING?!
But according to my PT, it's not amazing. It's bad.
And he's an olympic sports trainer.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
I DID IT
I DID IT. I RAN THE NIKE WOMEN'S HALF MARATHON IN SF.
Okay, I'm a little overexcited... But I have to explain why.
I am not an endurance runner. I can sprint like nobody's business, but I can't run over long periods of time. When I signed up for this half marathon, I 'forgot' this fact. But this had been on my bucket list ever since I had found out it was in San Francisco, and that they gave you a Tiffany's necklace at the end. Heck yes, sign me up.
We made it in to San Francisco the Wednesday before the race (which was on a Sunday). I was a bundle of anxiety, but we still had loads of fun running around the city. I had signed up for a training session with Nike, and I didn't end up going. I should have, along with a short run they did Saturday morning, but it was fine.
Finally, Sunday morning came, bright and early. We were planning to be at the start line around 5:30, with the race starting at 6:30. Matt dropped me off a block or so away since we couldn't drive any closer. It was chilly, which wasn't surprising for an early morning in San Francisco. I found my sister and friend, we hung out, stretched a little, and then got ready for the beginning of the race.
We didn't even get near the start line until 7:10, and didn't start running until 7:20.
That would be all fine and dandy if we didn't have a time limit of three hours, and the gun had gone off an hour before, but that's what happens when you have over 20,000 runners.
We began to run.
I haven't actually been running since my last half marathon a month ago, and even before that my furthest run was six miles. I really stink at training. Even though I was anxious beyond belief, I knew I could do it within three hours... hopefully.
The run itself was really beautiful. We also had so many people cheering on the sidelines, from gospel choir groups, which particularly beautiful, to high school marching bands and cheerleading squads. It all amounted to lots of motivation, and lots of stopping for photos. I can honestly say that this did help a lot during the run.
We hugged, kissed, and then he said that I was almost done, so keep moving! I ran off with a new surge of energy, but quickly lost it when I realized I still had three miles to go, and my feet were hurting pretty badly. I could feel a panic attack coming on, and I'm pretty sure this is the first time in my entire life I was able to push it away (I have no idea how I managed to do that...)
I started doing sprints followed by walking, because that didn't hurt quite as much as just running (different muscles being used in different ways and all that). It was working! I pushed harder, and with .2 miles (or even .1) I saw my sister on the sidelines with my nephew, our friend's husband, and their daughter. I ran over, kissed my nephew, and gave my sister a hug. I told her that I was done. I was too tired, and she said "I know. But you're doing great. Keep going." and I'm pretty sure that's what pushed me to finish.
As I crossed the finish line, my panic attack made a hard and fast comeback. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I just followed the lines of people away from the finish line. I even forgot about my Tiffany's necklace until they handed me that little blue box.
Finally, I found Matt. I could relax. We got out of the crowds, and I texted my mum and sister who had been cheering me on via phone the entire run.
(And they had firemen in tuxes for the runners to take photos with!)
Finally, after the run, we went to the beach and soaked in the freezing cold ocean water.
Overall, the race was fun. I felt a lot better than my last half marathon (which is shocking since that one was all down hill, and this one was a lot of uphill!), although I did worse.
My other half I ran in 2:30, this one I ran in 3:00 (exactly three hours, go me!). I was a little disappointed that I added on half an hour, but I think the huge thing is that I actually finished!
I was also disappointed in the necklace itself. Very dinky. :( But it's fine.
Would I do this one again?
Possibly. If my oldest sister decided she wanted to do it, I would definitely run it with her. Otherwise, no.
Would I run the other half I did a month ago again?
Yes.
Without a doubt.
But that's a post for another day. ;)
Here's the thing about running; if you are in front of me, good for you. If you're behind me, good for you, because at least you're off the couch, out of the house, doing something. At least you're working towards a goal, whether it's losing weight or just having fun, you're working towards a better you.
A year ago I wouldn't have imagined that I would run two half marathons this year... maybe I'll have to cross a full off of my bucket list next year!
So this is my story of the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco. It was fun, exciting, challenging, and a huge pain in the butt, but I did it. I did it with my sister and our friend, and it was amazing.
Okay, I'm a little overexcited... But I have to explain why.
I am not an endurance runner. I can sprint like nobody's business, but I can't run over long periods of time. When I signed up for this half marathon, I 'forgot' this fact. But this had been on my bucket list ever since I had found out it was in San Francisco, and that they gave you a Tiffany's necklace at the end. Heck yes, sign me up.
We made it in to San Francisco the Wednesday before the race (which was on a Sunday). I was a bundle of anxiety, but we still had loads of fun running around the city. I had signed up for a training session with Nike, and I didn't end up going. I should have, along with a short run they did Saturday morning, but it was fine.
Finally, Sunday morning came, bright and early. We were planning to be at the start line around 5:30, with the race starting at 6:30. Matt dropped me off a block or so away since we couldn't drive any closer. It was chilly, which wasn't surprising for an early morning in San Francisco. I found my sister and friend, we hung out, stretched a little, and then got ready for the beginning of the race.
We didn't even get near the start line until 7:10, and didn't start running until 7:20.
That would be all fine and dandy if we didn't have a time limit of three hours, and the gun had gone off an hour before, but that's what happens when you have over 20,000 runners.
We began to run.
I haven't actually been running since my last half marathon a month ago, and even before that my furthest run was six miles. I really stink at training. Even though I was anxious beyond belief, I knew I could do it within three hours... hopefully.
The run itself was really beautiful. We also had so many people cheering on the sidelines, from gospel choir groups, which particularly beautiful, to high school marching bands and cheerleading squads. It all amounted to lots of motivation, and lots of stopping for photos. I can honestly say that this did help a lot during the run.
I openly admit that I walked a lot of it, mostly the hills. I knew from my last half marathon that around mile eight I crashed really, really hard and didn't want to finish (and that was with a six hour time limit), so this time I made sure to do it right. I went easy the first few miles, a little harder in the middle, and then pushed myself the last three.
Well, sort of.
I did the first two alright, and even though I didn't crash at mile eight, I still pulled back a little. There was a huge hill coming up, and I knew I wouldn't be able to run up it. The views were impossibly gorgeous but I couldn't concentrate on them. All I could think about was eating and drinking enough, and making it up that damn hill.
Motivational posters were scattered through out the race, but there was a significant increase of them on the hill. Hilarious, inspiring, or just sweet, it did help.
But at the top of the hill was the best motivational poster ever. My husband.
Cheesy, I know.
As I crossed the finish line, my panic attack made a hard and fast comeback. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I just followed the lines of people away from the finish line. I even forgot about my Tiffany's necklace until they handed me that little blue box.
Finally, I found Matt. I could relax. We got out of the crowds, and I texted my mum and sister who had been cheering me on via phone the entire run.
(And they had firemen in tuxes for the runners to take photos with!)
Finally, after the run, we went to the beach and soaked in the freezing cold ocean water.
Overall, the race was fun. I felt a lot better than my last half marathon (which is shocking since that one was all down hill, and this one was a lot of uphill!), although I did worse.
My other half I ran in 2:30, this one I ran in 3:00 (exactly three hours, go me!). I was a little disappointed that I added on half an hour, but I think the huge thing is that I actually finished!
I was also disappointed in the necklace itself. Very dinky. :( But it's fine.
Would I do this one again?
Possibly. If my oldest sister decided she wanted to do it, I would definitely run it with her. Otherwise, no.
Would I run the other half I did a month ago again?
Yes.
Without a doubt.
But that's a post for another day. ;)
Here's the thing about running; if you are in front of me, good for you. If you're behind me, good for you, because at least you're off the couch, out of the house, doing something. At least you're working towards a goal, whether it's losing weight or just having fun, you're working towards a better you.
A year ago I wouldn't have imagined that I would run two half marathons this year... maybe I'll have to cross a full off of my bucket list next year!
So this is my story of the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco. It was fun, exciting, challenging, and a huge pain in the butt, but I did it. I did it with my sister and our friend, and it was amazing.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Update on Training
Training is not very fun. It's tough and pulls me in all different directions and a good chunk of the time I just want to give up.
But then I get home after a good run, or even a not so good run, and I want to do it again.
Today was a not so good run, in which I felt beaten down by the multiple runners who continued to pass me. I also hurt my knee while stretching just before running, and somewhere along the run my hip sort of gave out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm an old lady in a twenty year old body.
Running really does give me a sense of achievement though. After a run, no matter how short, I'm happy that I got out the door. Too many of my days have been spent laying around, and I really do want to change that. This blog was meant to catalogue my yoga practice as well as my cooking practice. I want to be better at both, and yet I still haven't done anything about it. Sure, I occasionally do yoga, but it's not a dedicated practice like it used to be.
What I have done, though, is still something good. I've begun drawing again. Recently, I spent the entire day at the kitchen table drawing and painting (while watching Gilmore Girls). I've also been taking whatever days I can at work. My runs are going farther (even though I'm still walking for some chunk of it), my husband says that my legs look 'less like cottage cheese' (he's saying that in the nicest way possible, I promise), and I am feeling better. I'm still sleeping way too much but that could just be a side effect of my pills... or I'm not drinking enough water.
So I'm going to start a new challenge just for me. I'm making a commitment to a better Tressie.
But then I get home after a good run, or even a not so good run, and I want to do it again.
Today was a not so good run, in which I felt beaten down by the multiple runners who continued to pass me. I also hurt my knee while stretching just before running, and somewhere along the run my hip sort of gave out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm an old lady in a twenty year old body.
Running really does give me a sense of achievement though. After a run, no matter how short, I'm happy that I got out the door. Too many of my days have been spent laying around, and I really do want to change that. This blog was meant to catalogue my yoga practice as well as my cooking practice. I want to be better at both, and yet I still haven't done anything about it. Sure, I occasionally do yoga, but it's not a dedicated practice like it used to be.
What I have done, though, is still something good. I've begun drawing again. Recently, I spent the entire day at the kitchen table drawing and painting (while watching Gilmore Girls). I've also been taking whatever days I can at work. My runs are going farther (even though I'm still walking for some chunk of it), my husband says that my legs look 'less like cottage cheese' (he's saying that in the nicest way possible, I promise), and I am feeling better. I'm still sleeping way too much but that could just be a side effect of my pills... or I'm not drinking enough water.
So I'm going to start a new challenge just for me. I'm making a commitment to a better Tressie.
- 8 glasses of water a day (or 64 oz)
- Yoga 3x a week
- Draw something new at least once a week
- Run at least 3x a week
- Read a book every 2 weeks
- Write on blog once a week
That's what I'm thinking for now. :) Let's see if I can do it!
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Half Marathon: The 'Official' Training Has Begun
I've been running for five weeks now with one of my friends, but this week marks our first week of actual training. It's been a bit crazy because my friend started a new job this week, so we've had to tweak the schedule a bit, but tonight my husband and I went running. Personally, I didn't do too well. I was having a difficult time breathing and I felt horrendously sick, but I ran my fastest documented mile (12.46) with a majority of that actually walking. I have fifteen weeks and two days until the race (Nike Women's Half in San Francisco). It'll be my first half marathon, and I'm really nervous that I won't be ready, so I've been contemplating doing another half marathon a month prior to dip my feet in, and that half marathon isn't as strict about time as the Nike Women's.
The goal of this blog was to document my yoga and cooking, but I have so far done neither. I have let my yoga slip a lot since coming out of the hospital, and I don't cook anymore. Being in the hospital kind of screwed all my plans, and I'm still working on coming out of that funk. I still have a hard time even leaving the house, but I'm working towards bigger goals now.
Anyway, I'm hoping to get out of my yoga funk, especially now that I'm running every other day. Yoga needs to become an important thing in my life again if I want to become healthy and whole.
The goal of this blog was to document my yoga and cooking, but I have so far done neither. I have let my yoga slip a lot since coming out of the hospital, and I don't cook anymore. Being in the hospital kind of screwed all my plans, and I'm still working on coming out of that funk. I still have a hard time even leaving the house, but I'm working towards bigger goals now.
Anyway, I'm hoping to get out of my yoga funk, especially now that I'm running every other day. Yoga needs to become an important thing in my life again if I want to become healthy and whole.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Nike Women's Half Marathon-San Francisco
My husband and I were just talking and I mentioned that I didn't want to go to sleep yet because I feel like I haven't accomplished anything, so he began to list off things I did do today (really, not a whole lot) but then he said "you signed up for a half marathon! That's a huge milestone!"
And it is.
I forget to give myself credit for a lot of things. I turn things on their heads so quick, I forget to think "yeah, but it's something."
So today, I signed up for a half marathon... while four months ago, I was laying in a hospital bed, trying to stay alive.
October 18th, I will be running in the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco. It will be my first half marathon EVER as well as the first 'race' I've done in somewhere around three years. I'll probably be running the Color Run in August with my husband, but that's just a 5k.
So here it goes.
I paid $180, I have to do this.
And it is.
I forget to give myself credit for a lot of things. I turn things on their heads so quick, I forget to think "yeah, but it's something."
So today, I signed up for a half marathon... while four months ago, I was laying in a hospital bed, trying to stay alive.
October 18th, I will be running in the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco. It will be my first half marathon EVER as well as the first 'race' I've done in somewhere around three years. I'll probably be running the Color Run in August with my husband, but that's just a 5k.
So here it goes.
I paid $180, I have to do this.
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